What to do if you don’t get on with uni flatmates

Moving into university accommodation is an exciting time. You'll have more independence, lots of new experiences, and meet loads of new people. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to become best friends with their flatmates...at least not straight away.

Not getting on with your university flatmates can be tricky. It can feel isolating and frustrating, especially if other groups seem to get on really well. Just remember that it's normal not to get on with absolutely everyone. After all, there are thousands of people at your university. What are the chances that you randomly got placed with your most compatible people?

As you're going to live with this group for an entire year, there are lots of things you can do to make the best out of a bad situation. To help, we've put together five things you can do if you don't get along with your university flatmates, to make cohabiting go much more smoothly. 

1. Give everyone a chance

Remember, first impressions aren't everything. It's all too easy to make a snap judgement on someone without really getting to know them. Try and strike up conversations with your flatmates to see if you have more in common than you initially thought. You can even suggest that you all do something fun together, like organise a communal flat dinner and drinks. This might help to ease any nerves or tensions that have been brewing and get you all on the same page. 

2. Try and remain friendly

Okay, so sometimes friendships with your uni flatmates just aren't meant to be. If you've tried to get to know your flatmates and it still isn't clicking, that's perfectly alright. But, as you still have to share a living space, it's important that you still remain on good terms with them. Don't be hostile or standoffish when you see them in the kitchen. A little small talk and a smile can go a long way in these situations. 

3. Meet other people

So, you didn't find your best friends in your flat. Luckily for you, your university is huge! There are loads of other ways to meet people who you might have more in common with. Why not start by speaking to the people who live in the flats neighbouring yours? The friends you've been looking for could be living just upstairs. 

Alternatively, you can get to know your coursemates. You naturally have something in common with them as you're studying the same thing. Another great way to find people with similar interests is by joining societies and going to socials. Just keep persevering and you'll be sure to find your people soon enough. 

4. Communicate honestly and openly

Living with other people for the first time can be quite challenging. It's easy to let little annoyances start to build up. Like, why can't they just take the bin out when it's their turn? Who in their right mind would leave their washing up in the sink for four days?

The best way to overcome these issues without getting into arguments is to express how you feel clearly and openly. Don't talk behind anyone's back or send passive-aggressive messages to the flat group chat. Take the person aside and calmly tell them what's frustrating you and how they could make it better. You'll be much more likely to come to a resolution that way.

5. Seek support when you need

It can feel very difficult to not get on with your university flatmates. If you're struggling with feelings of loneliness or isolation, make sure to talk to someone about it. This could be a friend or family member, or a mental health professional. Your university will have a counselling service you can access, or you can look into the support offered by mental health charities like Student Minds or Nightline. 

It's never too early to prepare for next year

Lots of students start making accommodation plans for their second year as early as the end of September or the beginning of October. To avoid living with people you don't get on with again, it's important to start considering who you might like to share a property with as soon as possible. You don't want to have to change or leave your tenancy because of choosing the wrong housemates. 

If, for whatever reason, this does end up happening, don't panic. We know that the idea of cancelling or changing a tenancy last minute can be very stressful. That's why we've introduced a deed reassignment feature. When you sign a lease through the StuRents platform, it'll now be easier than ever to change who you're sharing a property with. That way, you're covered if you do change your mind.

Still struggling with uni living? For more advice, check out our blog on the dos and don'ts of living in halls.